The months of November, December and January are very hard for me.
I love the Holidays of Thanksgiving and Christmas and the mark of a New Year.
I love the season of Autumn. I love the changing colors of leaves. I love the
cool weather. I love the snow but not so much walking in it if it's icy outside
because I'm afraid of falling.

But at the same time they are reminders of me of things that have happened
in my life that are sad.  It seems around these holidays is when bad or sad
things have happened in my life.

New Year's reminds me of two break-ups with boyfriends I've had in the past.
My Dad passed away around Thanksgiving.
My Mom passed away  on December 28th between Christmas and New Year's
and New Year's Eve the night Times Square is lit up with happy faces to ring
in the New Year I was going to her burial.

My dog who meant everything to me passed away September 10th.

So as much as I try to be happy during these Holidays they are bittersweet for me.

I still try and look forward to them but it's really hard for me. They are overshadowed
with melancholy for good reason. I will always miss those I loved.

But I will also try to remain present in the moment, cherish the memories I have yet
to make and continue to accept my feelings (good or bad) that exist in my heart.
I feel it is important to accept our feelings during difficult times.  To pretend or deny they
are not there...it only makes one feel worse.

So now I just try to remain in the present moment, make new memories and continue
to embrace whatever feeling shows up for me and accept it with all my heart.

Just knowing that God is always there for me and knows what's in my heart helps to get
me through whenever I am feeling sad or down.